This is the root meaning of the word “granted”:
from Old French granter ‘consent to support,’
variant of creanter ‘to guarantee,’
based on Latin credere ‘entrust.’
What is guaranteed in your connection with the flower, with your friend, with an abusive ego? Your behavior will reveal it; it will demonstrate what you value, what quality of connection you are the guarantor of.
To grant then is to entrust or to consciously consent to support. You grant someone your trust, your affection, attention and friendship. And they extend that to you too.
That is connection and it is not an idea. Connection is a living thing. Relationship connects us and if we take it for granted, like a house plant we forget to water, it withers and dies. Often an idea is enough to smother and blind and sever a relationship.
I have noticed with mindless or inattentive and busy minds, stuck in their ideology and reactionary thoughts, there is often no connection.
There is a connection. It is implicit. What often is there is more a hubris; a very limited and fear based connection. The noise of my idea and my image about myself and the other becomes far more important, somehow, than being real with another.
You have to start by being real with yourself; looking at your prejudices, honoring your preferences and being attentive to how I condemn and limit my appreciation because of my attitude and attachment to fear.
When the mind is very busy, tangled up in a lot of unquestioned erroneous beliefs, it often binds itself to a certain apathy and helplessness, often, ironically, that shows up as helping another or unseen blind allegiance to a number of unhealthy authorities in the mind.
It might be saying ‘yes’ to a sociopath because he is the boss, when your wiser self would walk away or stand up to abuse. Or it could be the mind hinged to a belief that condemns another because of my unquestioned prejudice, etc. Or it might be attached to an ideology or a belief in God or no God. And so, it is those things that meet when people “meet” and so they do not meet. What meets is the noise in my head versus the noise in your head.
Quantum physics acknowledged that the presence of the observer changes outcomes. An attentive mother or father can listen to a child and witness some pain. It may be a pattern of behavior that brings pain to the child. And very sensitively, they might find ways to help the child see the pattern so the pain body is not fed further and conscious awareness takes its place.
The antidote to suffering lies in entrusting your attention to the principles that guide us when we confront a lack of love in ourselves or another. That way we weed out fear and encourage the heart to grow in feeling and wisdom; rather than blocking it by the inattentive activity that lets the house plant of human need wither and die.
Either inattention flourishes, and leaves a withered and pained heart in its wake, or we entrust ourselves to the music of a deeper wisdom.
Have you the courage that your deeper honesty will reward you? “Courage” means, the heart, the seat of feelings. It means to give yourself to its wisdom and beauty, rather than be bullied and blinded by the testimony of fear.